Dual....:-)
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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