I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
