it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
