Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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