its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
worst night to have a conscience
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
