her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
