How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
