Your dad touched me again.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
