my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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