Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
