Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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