Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
