You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
