Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
