You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize