We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
