My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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