Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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