I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
