I could have mohawked her pubes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
