Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
