Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
