Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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