I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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