whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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