Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
