In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
two words...techno handjob
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
