I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
