didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
