Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize