Well apparently he's into motor boating.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
