thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize