smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
