And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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