ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
