Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
