i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
