so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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