he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
