I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
