you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
