I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
