i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
