Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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