He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
