I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
