everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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