"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
