i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
