i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why did my mother make you get naked?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
