I want to stick my p in your. b.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
