Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
