i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
