you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
40s are totally the cure
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
