Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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