She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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