Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How external is "for external use only"?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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