so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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