That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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