tell your sister to shave her snatch
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
