Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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