thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
