Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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