First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Panties = found
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